Reuniting with an ex for the occasion

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Reuniting with an ex for Valentine

Now, here's a different twist.

Years ago you dated someone, but then you separated and drifted apart, with or without bitterness.

Now you have suddenly come into contact once again. You're both single at the moment and find that hooking up on Valentine's would be an excellent way to avoid the Valentine blues for both of you.

Maybe this is not a bad idea, but remember that whilst this may seem innocent enough, you should be careful.

Why? When, first time around, this person became your ex -- it was for a reason.

Agreed, people change but that can work both ways, literally for better or worse.

He or she might not be the person you are expecting them to be. The time that the two of you have spent apart has given both of you room for new opportunities, growth, and different experiences. Perhaps you have even been moving and living in completely different environments from one another, so the most important thing to expect is, simply, NOTHING.

You've somehow got in touch with each other and now you are going on a date to while away an evening that traditionally should not be spent alone. It is as simple as that. And it should remain that simple.

Don't put yourself through the agony of thinking and wondering whether things -- that is, your feelings and emotions -- might be exactly the way they used to be.

Don't make statements like "But you used to love it when I did that." Look at this person with a new perspective, as if you meet a total stranger for the first time.. Watch out for hidden bitterness, or even a revenge streak... Cases happened...

On the other hand, this date may be just like catching up with an old friend and may remain nothing more than that. The less pressure you put on each other in this situation, the happier the two of you will be.

One other thing must be clear -- you must be sure that both of you ARE single, or you are playing with very dangerous fire, which can only lead to a very upset spouse or partner for your date, and a very unhappy person for yourself!

If, on the other hand, there is an invitation to join your ex for dinner or drinks on Valentine's Day with their other half, do consider how you should actually deal with this.

If there is no animosity or if you are all friends, then by all means go ahead. But if there is any inkling of "I don't really care for his or her new partner", then staying away is definitely a better idea.

If this is the first time you are meeting your ex's other half, keep it polite. Don't accept the invitation with the sole intention of running the person down or to boast that you were definitely a better catch.

Take it for what it is and move on. If this new person in your ex's life is really nowhere as good as you, then you'll have the satisfaction of gloating about this in your own good time!

Love is in the air, just like spring, and it will come to each of us at the right time.

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