Reasons you are alone after being together

Monday, February 04, 2008

Reasons you are alone after being together

You must have asked this before, but you must be honest when answering it. Have you just been through a death or divorce, have you just separated or are you just barely surviving a major break up?

If you find yourself falling into any of the above categories then you may want to reconsider going on a date unless you are absolutely certain that you will not be ranting about your ex for most of the evening, or getting yourself blind drunk and then calling your ex in front of your new date.

Your Valentine's date may be for one night only, but why take someone else into your company only to deprive that one of a good time, just because you are miserable?

In other words, make sure you are not carrying excess baggage with you and that this process of starting to see other people is indeed intended to be a way for you to start afresh.

Going to places that you used to frequent with your ex is also a complete NO-NO.

Regardless of whether you hope to 'accidentally' have the chance to bump into your ex, just so that you can boast that you have moved on with your life, ornot, Valentine's Day is not be the best day to prove a point!

And if it genuinely is because you feel comfortable in that particular environment, it still is not fair to all persons involved.

Also, try to think about what you sayto your date, and avoid phrases like "I got you roses because my ex used to like them so much". Very simply, strike off anything that begins with "My ex said, thought, did etc.

Seeing someone other than your ex is a FRESH start.

Keep it that way from the beginning to end, or at least until both you and your date are familiar enough with one another to talk about past issues honestly, and are both ready and able to deal with any outcome.

First-dates during the Valentine's season will definitely not resolve the past, so the subject is to be avoided if possible.

Love is all encompassing -- it comes to each of us in one of its forms -- not always the way we wanted it to be...

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