Getting the word out

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Getting the word out

Getting the word out on the grapevine can sometimes be even faster than looking for a date online. But this also depends on who you get to help you get the word out.

If there are people you can trust enough, tell them that you are looking for a date and they'll probably have this other friend of a friend who also told them the same thing and will probably arrange for a meeting.

Remember that if you and your friends don't have the same taste, or if they are unfamiliar with your preferences, than this is likely to land you in more hot water than you can imagine. However, miracles do happen!

While your friend has tried to do you a favour by finding someone who he or she thinks meets your tastes, everyone involved must know and clearly understand that your friendship does not place you under any obligation to agree to a second or third date.

Do what works for you. If you like the person, then by all means go ahead and, who knows, it might just end up in more than a few dates.

But, if you are uncomfortable or have no interest in seeing the person ever again, then you must be honest and lay your cards on the table for all concerned to know.

Just as you are searching for that perfect Valentine's date, the other person may be doing the same thing, and the more you hold back about whether you will be seeing the person again or not, the more time you are wasting for everyone involved.

If need be, you can even get dating tips from movies although don't expect an orchestra -- real or imaginary -- to burst into song when to let you know that you have found that someone special or when you kiss the person good night.

An excellent choice of a movie to actually catch the urgency of getting a date would be "See Jane Date" with Charisma Carpenter, of Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel playing. (see more about the movie here http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0371190 ).

The tagline of this movie is "Meet Jane. She's always one date away from finding the perfect guy" and it could not be a more apt description of the movie itself. She is a successful career person but allows herself to feel completely inadequate, solely because she doesn't have a man in her life. Her competitive cousin's wedding is just around the corner and she needs to give the impression that all is well in her love life". She moves from one dating disaster to the next, always hoping that this may be the person she can take to the wedding, and every time she ends up with a disaster worse than the previous one.

I won't spoil the ending for you but take the time to watch this if you really are in the "find me a date" mode.

Make it a point to not look too hard, too fast. The rule of 'slow and steady wins the race' works more regularly than you might think! Very often, when you rush into things you find that they are not quite what they seem to be.

Also (and this is a very important point), you must be very sure you know what you want in a partner.

Of course you may not find a person with every single quality you had in mind, but having some idea of whom you would like to spend time with will make things easier for both you and the other person, without taking up too much time.

Rest assured that if you have no clue, you might go on hundreds of dates and still say that you have not found anyone to be with! (Really! Do you prefer blue eyes to an intelligent and witty future partner?)

Dating friends of friends can sometimes end up in a little back biting or finding out things you didn't really want to know, so being prepared for the worst, while expecting for the best, is the correct attitude.

Don't necessarily expect the whole thing to fail but then again, don't expect it to completely succeed either. This may work but it may not, and so, if finding a date for Valentine's is that important, then have a back-up plan for the possibility that this doesn't pan out.

Love is in the air, just like spring, and it will come to each of us at the right time.

More about Valentines Day

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