The Jolliest President In History

2009

'Tis the season to be jolly, but this Mr. President has started long ago to prove his jolliness.

How about the Chi-Chi-Chi-Chia-Obama bust? I heard Mr. President smiled and said only "Ho, ho, ho!" That proves he is jolly, no? Or maybe he got some money from the Chi-Chia Company for use of name and effigy (bust)... What do we know? Only what we are told. But short time after, the ad disappeared and now there is the normal Chia Pet advertised on TV (a sheep, or Sponge Bob, but not "the piece of history" with Obama's face on it)

Then, just as he was preparing to send more soldiers into Afghanistan, Mr. President was nominated for the Nobel Price for Peace. Sounds like a bad joke, and only stands to prove his jolliness. He said, "Ho, ho, ho! I'm so surprised!" But he did accept the honor, preferring to have to explain the wars he's engaged in as "just wars" than to renounce the honor (and the money).

Next, some socialite people entered uninvited at one important party given by Mr. President in honor of the Indian delegates, and Mr. President said, "Ho, ho, ho! I'm not going to do a thing about this." Though some of his security people are now "free" of any more obligations, and the socialites are taking "The Fifth" to their bosoms, preferring anonymity to the "reality show" to which they were said to aspire.

And now, the newest joke of all -- in the same announcement of withdrawal from Afghanistan starting in 2010 comes the announcement of Mr. President sending of 30,000 new troops in same Afghanistan, to first pacify the region (which promises many years of "just war" before withdrawing all of them soldiers).

Think about Afghanistan for a moment... How many years were the Russians trying to pacify the region? And who was acting behind the scenes? The American friends. But Afghanistan would have fought anyway. So, now that the Americans know the way of fighting of the Afghanis, they are still loosing the war (if they need more troops to keep up the peace...). This is a good joke, no?

What a contradiction of terms! But I, as a native of Socialist/Communist Romania, am used to saying "Long live the War for Peace!" This was our standard ending of any official document till I left for the capitalistic West. And now that I am in the capitalistic West, I'm not sure how to reconcile this abnormal attitude, unless it is pure, unadulterated jolliness, and everything is part of one or the other of the jokes surrounding Mr. President.

Joke after joke after joke, so much so, that now I listen to the news waiting for the next one to come. But let's be fair, the jokes are not by Mr. President but by the men nearby him. He just laughs in appreciation of the humor displayed by others. What fun to be in the White House at Christmas time!

Maybe it is only a seasonal jolliness and soon he will become serious and get to solving the puzzle -- why did he get awarded the Nobel Price for Peace in the first place?...

Christmas 2009 -- a young Nigerian got past airports security, but failed to explode himself. He merely set his pants on fire. I heard him being called the "Underwear Bomber". This joke is now paid for by most airports, by the travelers queuing up, and we protest against body scans, while Mr. President smiles but with less jolliness than before. The boy is almost a coreligionist.

2010

January -- it seems that a third door-crusher was discovered aside of the two socialites seeking immortal glory. No comments about what this one was seeking... Though my ranting is mostly politically incorrect, I will avoid any speculations about skin color or creed. Such things are much too explosive to be mentioned even in passing.

Newer yet, Mr. President has declared "War on Terror" -- a "just war" by all standards, though I think it should be war on botched security.

At the same time, an American "military" or "spy" plane took a tour over Venezuelan territory, inciting Mr. Chavez to exclaim, "It seems we are next on the American war agenda"! If you missed it, this announcement was given only once, after midnight news, probably a "mistake" of the news crew.

Mr. President must be laughing heartily at these latest jokes.

What next?

Me in prison? I claim the First Amendment (I think it is about freedom of speech...).

21.01.2010